I know exactly what you’re thinking. “It’s a Nissan Juke. There are approximately seven billion of them.” And you’d be right. They’re everywhere. Like pigeons. Or people who say “going forward” in meetings. But this one… this one is different. For a start, it’s got the optional black pack. Which, frankly, I’m not entirely convinced Nissan even offered on this trim level. It may have been smuggled out of a factory under cover of darkness. Either way, it looks fantastic. Pearl white paint, contrasted with a black roof, black spoiler, black mirrors — it’s like a tuxedo on wheels. And yes. It is pretty. Deal with it. Then you notice the wheels. Gloss black. Diamond cut. The sort of alloys that make lesser cars quietly roll back into the shadows and rethink their life choices. And the specification. Ohhhh, the specification. Satellite navigation? Obviously. Touchscreen infotainment with Apple CarPlay and Android Auto? Of course it has. Cruise control? Naturally. Keyless entry and start, so you never have to rummage around like an idiot looking for the fob? Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes. I could spend the next 47 minutes listing every single feature this car comes with — and I would enjoy it immensely — but I won’t. You’ll glance at the list below, nod approvingly, and we’ll both move on with our lives. Now. The really good bit. One owner. Full service history. Two keys. Which in today’s world is basically the automotive equivalent of finding a unicorn that also does your taxes. And because we’re feeling generous, we’ll throw in a brand new 12-month MOT, a 12-month parts and labour warranty, and a fresh service. So yes. It’s a Juke. But it’s a very good Juke. And frankly, you’d be mad not to like it.