You’re standing there going, “Of all the mid-sized, pretend-to-be-an-SUV SUVs I could buy… why on earth would I choose this? Everyone’s got a Mokka X.” And you’d be absolutely right. They’re everywhere. They breed. You can’t move for them. But then — think about it — maybe there’s a reason for that. Because the Mokka X is the automotive equivalent of a Swiss Army knife. It’s not enormous, so it actually fits on your driveway, yet somehow it has enough space inside to swallow children, shopping, pets, pushchairs, bags of compost, and all the other nonsense that comes with being a functioning adult. It just… works. And then we come to this one’s party trick. The mileage. Look at it. Go on. Six years old and less than 30,000 miles. That’s nothing. That’s barely run in. Most cars of this age have been to the moon and back twice, possibly via Milton Keynes. And it doesn’t stop there. Because it’s got a very respectable spec as well — alloy wheels, air conditioning, Bluetooth, Apple CarPlay and Android Auto, so your phone can shout directions at you while you ignore them. Then, just when you think, “Alright, fine, I’m listening,” we pile on the good news. A brand-new MOT, 12 months warranty, a fresh service, and — because we’re feeling generous — a new timing chain as well. So yes. It might not be exotic. It might not be rare. But it’s sensible, spacious, low-mileage, well-equipped… and frankly, it makes far more sense than it has any right to.