Right, feast your eyes on this: a little Ford Fiesta that's just sauntered onto the forecourt looking like it's auditioning for Fast & Furious: The Budget Years. And here's the shocking bit — it's actually brilliant. In fact, it handles so well you'll start to wonder why everyone's faffing about in German hatchbacks that cost more than a small house. This is the Titanium X, which sounds like a deodorant but is actually the top of the Fiesta tree. It's got all the usual trinkets: alloy wheels, parking sensors — the sort of stuff people pretend not to care about but will whinge endlessly if it's missing. But then Ford went mad in a meeting and said, "Fine, give it heated seats, a heated steering wheel, some leather, and Sat Nav," presumably after realising they'd accidentally built something nicer than a Mercedes A-Class, for half the price and without the "I work in finance" attitude. And the condition? Immaculate. Not "your nan's best china" immaculate — properly immaculate. The previous owner clearly treated it like a first-born child, and it arrives complete with two keys and paperwork thicker than War and Peace. Now, because we're apparently feeling philanthropic, we'll lob in a brand-new MOT, a service, and a 12-month parts and labour warranty. For free. Yes, free. As in, you could literally spend nothing and still complain — because we know you will. But it's all part of the frankly ridiculous deal we're offering, so come get it before someone else does and ruins your day.