This thing has just trundled onto our forecourt, and if your life currently involves shopping bags, children, dogs, and the general soul-sapping chaos known as adulthood, then this is exactly the sort of car you should be looking at. It’s a faux 4x4 — which means it looks rugged, feels sensible, and won’t punish you at the fuel pump like a real one would. Think of it as the T-Cross’s better-looking cousin. Same solid German build quality, same air of competence and sensibility — but then someone came along and tipped an entire bucket of pretty over the top. The result? A coupe-like silhouette that makes you look vaguely interesting in a car park, without screaming for attention. Finished in understated Indium Grey, it manages the rare trick of standing out while still wearing a dinner jacket. And then there’s the spec. Oh good grief, the spec. What doesn’t it have? Diamond-cut alloys — obviously. A touchscreen infotainment system with Apple CarPlay and Android Auto, because it’s not 2004. Satellite navigation, parking sensors to save your dignity, a digital cockpit that looks like it’s been nicked from a concept car, climate control so you don’t argue about the temperature, and part-leather trim for that all-important whiff of luxury. I could go on. I really could. But if I did, we’d be here all day — and frankly, I’d start sounding smug. And it gets better. One owner from new. Full Volkswagen service history. Two keys — because chaos is not having just one. On top of that, we’re throwing in a brand-new 12-month MOT, a 12-month warranty, and a fresh service… and we’re not bumping the screen price to hide it all in the small print. Honestly, who else is giving you this much car for this much money?