For Sale: Doris the Ford Fiesta Zetec (2002) It is with a heavy heart (and a slight sense of betrayal) that we're putting Doris up for adoption. She's been part of the family for nearly a decade, and frankly, she's done more for us than most relatives. Doris is a zippy little legend not quite Formula 1, but she will absolutely win a moral victory at the traffic lights. As the song says she's rapid and she's nifty (you'll understand when you meet her). She's got that vintage charm yes, a few nicks and bumps, but nothing that doesn't add character. Think of them as "stories," not "damage." She runs well, starts reliably, and still has plenty of miles left in her. The official bits: MOT until Jan 2027 (she's basically immortal) 1.4L petrol engine 5-speed manual 0-60 in a breezy 13.2 seconds (she likes to build anticipation) Top speed: 104 mph (pure thrill, eventually) Fuel economy: surprisingly decent (44.1 mpg combined) Why you'll love Doris: Loyal (never ghosted us once) Easy to park (tiny but mighty) Cheap to run Will absolutely become part of your personality We're looking for someone who will love her, name her, and maybe sing to her occasionally. Bonus points if you promise not to replace her with something boring. Serious enquiries only. Time-wasters will be judged by Doris.